So, tomorrow's the day. Or rather... tonight's the night. I'll be hopping on a Delhi-bound SQ flight at 2.30am tomorrow morning with my Outward Bound teammates to embark on a 10-day long expedition.
Tossed and turned on my bed for quite a while last night before I managed to finally sleep, mainly because I was thinking a lot about the expedition (a little too much, actually). Truth is, I was afraid. It was truly what they call the fear of the unknown, and last night, it presented itself in one of its truest forms. Because as much as I'd love to go to the country to bask in the many sights, sounds and smells that's authentically Indian, there'll always be a part of me who wouldn't be so enthusiastic. I'd still worry for my parents who'll, in turn, worry for me (making me even more worried). I'd still consider unpleasant scenarios, such as the idea of failing at making new friends, or not being able to get along with the people there (or worse ones which are seriously better off unsaid).
But then again, it's not as if I'd be on my own, in fact, I'd be moving around with a considerably large group all the time, and there'll also be numerous safety nets in place. Teachers and instructors will be there to guide us, and if this actually serves as a form of consolation, there'll be more girls involved in the expedition. Awareness of these points really does warrant a huge sigh of relief, but no matter how well I comforted myself, a sliver of uncertainty and apprehension still remained.
So, in yet another attempt to eliminate the fear in my heart, I did a little bit of self-encouragement earlier today, and in the process stumbled upon this:
Cliched Bible verse is cliched, but the meaning definitely isn't. It's so applicable to what I'm facing right now. If the Lord is with me, who can stand against?
Right now, I guess I should feel more thankful about being given this opportunity to embark on the expedition than apprehensive about all the uncertainty that'll surround me when I step out of my comfort zone. Surely, there'll be something worth taking away from the trip, and I shall look forward to it, cherishing every bit.
I'm also thinking that perhaps, just perhaps, all the fear would dissolve once I reach India. Who knows?
Hahaha, guess I should stop rambling on and on about this issue. I shall just choose to believe that everything'll be just fine. :) I won't be back till the 15th anyway, and if it's possible, I'll try my best to update Twitter while in India.
Do wish me all the best as far as you can... till then!
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