My Mad Fat Diary

“When I look around, I see that everyone’s the protagonist of their own story. And the thing about stories is that not all of them have a happy ending. But some do.” — Rae Earl, My Mad Fat Diary

Every once in a while, you'll stumble upon a show that is so close to perfect, it startles you that something like this can possibly grace your television screen. It'll make you smile, laugh, cry and cringe in equal measure, and once you're finally done with it, you'll be left both heartened at how it has left you with a more enlightened perspective towards life, and utterly broken when you realise that it's time to move on from the characters and relationships you have unknowingly invested so much of your emotions into.

For me, My Mad Fat Diary happens to be that show, and its unabashed honesty is what won me over. It recognises that life will never be as structured and straightforward as we want it to be, and depending on the situations we find ourselves in, there's always a likelihood we'll fail and even stay at the bottom. Yet it embraces how ultimately, the power to write our own happy endings lies within us, and while it doesn't bother trying to make the journey look less tough or cushioning it with unrealistic plot twists and interventions, it showed that no matter how difficult it gets, it's possible.

Far from sounding a little too conclusive, it's also honest in the way it portrays life as a day-to-day affair. This show recognises that as human beings, we're very much a bunch of walking contradictions. We make mistakes only to make amends, we fall apart only to get back together, and at the end of the day, we can honestly never tell which state in the cycle we'll be in. One thing's for sure, though: it often takes a turn of events to shake us up again and get us back on the right track, and the show spares no effort in highlighting this.

My Mad Fat Diary follows the journey of Rae, a 16-year-old teenager with mental health and body image issues serious enough to find her in a psychiatric hospital after she hurt herself. She's as real a character as it possibly gets – she's soft, insecure, loyal, angry, selfish and kind, all at the same time. Chloe is her best friend who, on the outside, seems to have everything served to her on a silver platter – an effortlessly hot summer body, a complete family, and the fact that she's basically the perfectly feminine girl who has no trouble fitting in – while Rae very obviously has none of those and less. With this seemingly huge chasm between them, it comes as no surprise that they have a very real and special love-hate relationship. "You always make me feel guilty for having things," Chloe would exclaim in an early episode, highlighting the role she unintentionally plays in battering Rae's self-image. "When you’ve lived in someone’s shadow for a long time, you kind of get used to it", Rae would think as she admits that she'll never be as good as Chloe, but as the show progresses, you'll see that's not always the case. As much as Chloe may seem perfect to Rae, she esteems Rae higher than herself, especially admiring her smart and funny personality, and how she deserves all the good things she gets because she's "not broken and bitchy like me". True enough, the show saw Rae making difficult sacrifices to be by her best friend's side in her times of trouble in great displays of loyalty, but as it also brilliantly and deftly incorporates a few episodes which shed light on Chloe's point of view, it provides a closer look into Chloe's lack of self-worth, and how much she cares for Rae as a friend, only to be grossly misunderstood by her because she was just too self-absorbed – a difficult flaw in psychiatric patients who think too much about their own flaws. This results in a friendship where both parties actively support and heal each other, one that's surprisingly heartwarming to behold.

Another one of my favourite character relationships from the show is that between Rae and her mum. Rae goes back home after spending months in a psychiatric hospital only to find out that her mum has been in a relationship with a man without her knowing anything, and that's a perfect example of the tension in their relationship they both grapple with. Rae's mum is caught between searching for happiness and paying close attention to Rae's mental health, and Rae always seems to make it all the more difficult for her as a 16-year-old, naturally rebellious adolescent. With every passing episode, it always seems as if one has had enough of the other, but no matter how many cutting remarks are exchanged and no matter how many times both of them fall out, they will always come back together as a mother and her daughter. The show portrays this give-and-take nature with stark candidness, and throws in critical situations which eventually compels Rae to think less of herself, to love and respect her mother better, and to grow and mature as a daughter.

Ian Hart plays the role of Kester, Rae's psychiatrist, and he's more often than not a stabilising factor throughout the first series of the show. He seems perpetually patient with Rae even during the times when she may be hard to deal with and when she insists on following through with making mistakes, yet he's anything but a saintly figure. The second series saw him baring more of his personal life to Rae and drawing boundaries between Rae and him, deconstructing the widely-held expectation that psychiatrists should always be at their patients' disposal, and affirming the fact that psychiatrists are no less of human beings than anyone else, and that they need space to deal with their own problems, too. The fact that even Rae helped Kester with his struggles probably testifies to the effectiveness of a mutually beneficial relationship between doctor and patient. To quote Rae in her conversation with Kester, "We (mental patients) just need you to be real."

Last but not least, who could forget Finn, Rae's main love interest throughout the two series of the show? This particular relationship is evidently its main marketing scheme (though I personally feel that it didn't quite stand out like the others mentioned above). Finn is handsome with a wiry frame and a fixture in Rae's group of friends alongside Chloe, Archie, Chop and Izzy, as well as a fuel for Rae's mad, raging hormones. Sensitive and considerate, he sees through Rae's outward appearance and loves her for who she is inside, but this leaves Rae struggling to come to terms with the fact that such a 'perfect' guy would like someone like her. However, he ultimately proves to be right for her despite how she may try to push him away in complete denial of her true feelings, as he always manages to boost Rae's self-confidence and help her see things as what they are.

There's still so much to rave over this almost-perfect-but-definitely-good-enough show, but even so, I've written way more than enough, and I'd rather not risk revealing too much plot content. Let's just say that many will be able to relate to what it has to share, and... heck, everyone should just watch it, 'nuff said. If you're looking for the best coming-of-age/teen drama series you haven't watched, look no further – this is definitely it.