Feels-packed week

If the past (long) weekend could be summed up in a single word, it would be: intense. Very intense. But in general, the past week has altogether been one wicked rollercoaster ride of emotions, beginning from the Sunday where I picked up where I left off in My Mad Fat Diary (MMFD) from the previous night, all the way to the concerts on Thursday and Friday.

It's suffice to say that MMFD has become one of my new favourite TV shows, and judging from how I just rambled on and on about what makes it so endearing to me in the previous post, I'll refrain from going on any further. Spent last Monday in camp catching up on the final few episodes of the second season in between preparing for the field exercise the next day, and managed to finish the entire show right before I went to sleep... which wasn't a good idea at all, considering how I'd very much prefer conserving as much of a good book or a good show as possible (so that I wouldn't feel like there's nothing to look forward to). Of course, I failed miserably this time, and now I'm just left hoping the show will be renewed for a third season.

The next two days in camp were terribly bleak, and I don't exactly know what has gotten to me, but my combat fitness seems to drop drastically with each field exercise. If you haven't already known, I HATE going out to the field with a passion, and sometimes, the dread I feel when I'm just about to move out from camp – when I'm just about to pick up the abhorrent, backbreaking burden that is the Alice pack, to be exact – is almost unbearable. This particular exercise was no excuse, and to nobody's surprise, it became the new worst field exercise ever. I've also noticed how my sense of accomplishment dwindles with each time I return to camp from an exhausting field exercise, while there's never a shortage of nasty insect bites all over my hands, shoulders, back and neck, and the temptation to just give up is always there, yet hardly within reach. With 6 months left to go before ORD, the road may seem short to many, but from where I'm standing, there's still quite a lot more to tide through. All I can say is, let me always see the greater purpose to this pain which can, at times, seem so meaningless. On the verge of burning out, but I don't want to give up... just yet.

Regardless, I guess this experience, if anything, did make the events which followed later on in the week sweeter? All I can say is, thank God there wasn't any more drama holding me back from actually attending the concerts... from experience, you never know what the SAF can come up with to completely foil your plans at any point during your time with them.

On to happier things: Taylor Swift was simply phenomenal on stage Thursday night, and that's not an understatement. I have to say I went in expecting quite the show, but it was our fault for mistakenly thinking that there was a sound check going on when we heard Ellie Goulding tracks inside the stadium while we were loitering around outside and basking in the atmosphere a few hours before the doors opened. This led us to assume that Ellie was going to make a surprise appearance later on in the show, but our hopes were quickly dashed when Taylor simply rounded off the night with her encore performance of 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together'. Because it was also the very final show of the Red Tour, we were all eagerly expecting something special, but although it turned out to be just another one of her normal shows, I'm DEFINITELY not complaining, for she still put up a great performance. Remaining pitch-perfect throughout, I can see that her vocals have definitely matured (though they still sounded a little strained at some points). The elaborate stage set-up, troupes of back-up dancers, numerous costume changes and bright, actively-changing LED lights also helped set the groundwork for a very entertaining show, and I was especially blown away by her performances for 'Holy Ground' (thoroughly enjoyed the drum sequence towards the chorus), 'I Knew You Were Trouble.' (still awestruck by that signature, impossible 3-second costume change), and '22' (I unabashedly went temporarily insane for this). For the surprise B-stage song, she dished out an acoustic performance of 'Long Live', a song which I feel is very apt for the final installment of her tour. Another defining moment in her show would be none other than the performance for her piano ballad 'All Too Well', in which she, well, did her trademark hair flips for the very last time in the Red Tour. All in all, I guess everyone who was with me at the concert reached a consensus that it was a night they wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon, and as she moves on to bigger, better projects, I really have her to thank for always going the extra mile for her international fans... even if it means taking the Red Tour halfway around the globe to Asia, and dragging it on for a year and a half. Then again, if I was earning even a quarter of what she rakes in from all that touring, I wouldn't be complaining already!

Also, before I forget, something ironic yet funny happened while we were hanging around outside the stadium before the show. Sheryl & I were getting excited over the possibility of Ellie Goulding appearing on stage beside Taylor Swift when we bumped into these three 14-year-olds (two girls and a guy). We small-talked for a bit and exchanged names, and when Sheryl introduced herself, both the girls broke out in giggles. Apparently, they also had a friend named Sheryl who is 'crazy because she drinks like, 100%'. And 100% what, you may ask? Bubble tea. Upon hearing this, Sheryl laughed and said she thought their friend was crazy because she drank 100% alcohol... which led us to feeling a little depressed, because right there and then, it hit us that we were getting a little too old for our comfort. You see, we're still not exactly ready to leave behind the days where the most badass drink someone could ever get was bubble tea with 100% sugar. True enough, upon reaching home after the concert, I swiftly chugged down a jug of beer to cool myself down... not that it means anything (I think).

If Taylor Swift was the highlight of the week, then Ellie Goulding was the icing on the cake. She returned to Singapore Friday night for her Halcyon Days Tour, and apparently, she played to a sold-out crowd at the Esplanade Concert Hall for the same tour last year. I'm definitely not lamenting the fact that she found Singapore crowds compelling enough for her to release yet another tour date here, and if anything, our crowds have never been more welcoming of her. As evidenced by how everyone went wild when she burst into the stage for 'Figure 8', her first performance of the night, it was obvious all of us adored her. In exchange, she continued to wow us with her husky yet dulcet voice and incredible vocal acrobatics throughout the set, and her power-packed dance moves (and abs) were enough to give her rival indie/electronic pop acts a run for their money. Though the show proved to be consistently good, my favourite parts were definitely the performance for her famous cover of Elton John's 'Your Song' – it sounded exactly like the studio-recorded version, and the final four songs and encore performance of the show, all of which were her radio hits ('Anything Could Happen', 'I Need Your Love', 'Lights', 'You My Everything' and 'Burn'). Predictably, the entire theatre went insane, and the atmosphere was overwhelming. I was literally jumping around, reaching my hands out to God-knows-what (probably a sign of complete immersion and release I guess), and overall it was plain enjoyable, and definitely great value-for-money.

I'm also grateful for Sheryl, who was my company for the two nights of concerts (without whom I probably wouldn't be spurred to watch Ellie Goulding), as well as a couple of my old classmates from secondary school and Michelle who joined me for the Taylor Swift show. On another note, I was expecting some serious post-concert depression to set in after those two nights of sweet music, but it didn't prove to be too bad. Instead, I just feel really fulfilled to have seen two of my favourite musical acts in town on two consecutive nights. I've also come to like going for concerts more, though I don't exactly know if that's a good thing, HAHA. No matter, here's to (hopefully) seeing more of my most-liked artistes around in the near future (provided I can fork out the cash, that is)!

My Mad Fat Diary

“When I look around, I see that everyone’s the protagonist of their own story. And the thing about stories is that not all of them have a happy ending. But some do.” — Rae Earl, My Mad Fat Diary

Every once in a while, you'll stumble upon a show that is so close to perfect, it startles you that something like this can possibly grace your television screen. It'll make you smile, laugh, cry and cringe in equal measure, and once you're finally done with it, you'll be left both heartened at how it has left you with a more enlightened perspective towards life, and utterly broken when you realise that it's time to move on from the characters and relationships you have unknowingly invested so much of your emotions into.

For me, My Mad Fat Diary happens to be that show, and its unabashed honesty is what won me over. It recognises that life will never be as structured and straightforward as we want it to be, and depending on the situations we find ourselves in, there's always a likelihood we'll fail and even stay at the bottom. Yet it embraces how ultimately, the power to write our own happy endings lies within us, and while it doesn't bother trying to make the journey look less tough or cushioning it with unrealistic plot twists and interventions, it showed that no matter how difficult it gets, it's possible.

Far from sounding a little too conclusive, it's also honest in the way it portrays life as a day-to-day affair. This show recognises that as human beings, we're very much a bunch of walking contradictions. We make mistakes only to make amends, we fall apart only to get back together, and at the end of the day, we can honestly never tell which state in the cycle we'll be in. One thing's for sure, though: it often takes a turn of events to shake us up again and get us back on the right track, and the show spares no effort in highlighting this.

My Mad Fat Diary follows the journey of Rae, a 16-year-old teenager with mental health and body image issues serious enough to find her in a psychiatric hospital after she hurt herself. She's as real a character as it possibly gets – she's soft, insecure, loyal, angry, selfish and kind, all at the same time. Chloe is her best friend who, on the outside, seems to have everything served to her on a silver platter – an effortlessly hot summer body, a complete family, and the fact that she's basically the perfectly feminine girl who has no trouble fitting in – while Rae very obviously has none of those and less. With this seemingly huge chasm between them, it comes as no surprise that they have a very real and special love-hate relationship. "You always make me feel guilty for having things," Chloe would exclaim in an early episode, highlighting the role she unintentionally plays in battering Rae's self-image. "When you’ve lived in someone’s shadow for a long time, you kind of get used to it", Rae would think as she admits that she'll never be as good as Chloe, but as the show progresses, you'll see that's not always the case. As much as Chloe may seem perfect to Rae, she esteems Rae higher than herself, especially admiring her smart and funny personality, and how she deserves all the good things she gets because she's "not broken and bitchy like me". True enough, the show saw Rae making difficult sacrifices to be by her best friend's side in her times of trouble in great displays of loyalty, but as it also brilliantly and deftly incorporates a few episodes which shed light on Chloe's point of view, it provides a closer look into Chloe's lack of self-worth, and how much she cares for Rae as a friend, only to be grossly misunderstood by her because she was just too self-absorbed – a difficult flaw in psychiatric patients who think too much about their own flaws. This results in a friendship where both parties actively support and heal each other, one that's surprisingly heartwarming to behold.

Another one of my favourite character relationships from the show is that between Rae and her mum. Rae goes back home after spending months in a psychiatric hospital only to find out that her mum has been in a relationship with a man without her knowing anything, and that's a perfect example of the tension in their relationship they both grapple with. Rae's mum is caught between searching for happiness and paying close attention to Rae's mental health, and Rae always seems to make it all the more difficult for her as a 16-year-old, naturally rebellious adolescent. With every passing episode, it always seems as if one has had enough of the other, but no matter how many cutting remarks are exchanged and no matter how many times both of them fall out, they will always come back together as a mother and her daughter. The show portrays this give-and-take nature with stark candidness, and throws in critical situations which eventually compels Rae to think less of herself, to love and respect her mother better, and to grow and mature as a daughter.

Ian Hart plays the role of Kester, Rae's psychiatrist, and he's more often than not a stabilising factor throughout the first series of the show. He seems perpetually patient with Rae even during the times when she may be hard to deal with and when she insists on following through with making mistakes, yet he's anything but a saintly figure. The second series saw him baring more of his personal life to Rae and drawing boundaries between Rae and him, deconstructing the widely-held expectation that psychiatrists should always be at their patients' disposal, and affirming the fact that psychiatrists are no less of human beings than anyone else, and that they need space to deal with their own problems, too. The fact that even Rae helped Kester with his struggles probably testifies to the effectiveness of a mutually beneficial relationship between doctor and patient. To quote Rae in her conversation with Kester, "We (mental patients) just need you to be real."

Last but not least, who could forget Finn, Rae's main love interest throughout the two series of the show? This particular relationship is evidently its main marketing scheme (though I personally feel that it didn't quite stand out like the others mentioned above). Finn is handsome with a wiry frame and a fixture in Rae's group of friends alongside Chloe, Archie, Chop and Izzy, as well as a fuel for Rae's mad, raging hormones. Sensitive and considerate, he sees through Rae's outward appearance and loves her for who she is inside, but this leaves Rae struggling to come to terms with the fact that such a 'perfect' guy would like someone like her. However, he ultimately proves to be right for her despite how she may try to push him away in complete denial of her true feelings, as he always manages to boost Rae's self-confidence and help her see things as what they are.

There's still so much to rave over this almost-perfect-but-definitely-good-enough show, but even so, I've written way more than enough, and I'd rather not risk revealing too much plot content. Let's just say that many will be able to relate to what it has to share, and... heck, everyone should just watch it, 'nuff said. If you're looking for the best coming-of-age/teen drama series you haven't watched, look no further – this is definitely it.

A day documented with Instagram

As mentioned in the previous post, today was supposed to be a hectic day, and it definitely was, though I woke up in the morning feeling really lazy — swear all I wanted to do then was just camp in my room and watch episode after episode of 'Heartstrings' until I was done with it, hahaha. And I did indeed watch 'Heartstrings', though what I actually did was halfway between being a punctual boy and turning up at Paya Lebar station at 1.20pm sharp and being an utterly lazy pig and not leaving the house at all — I watched one more episode of the drama series and told the rest I'd be going down with Rashid & Li Ting, the two people who already planned to turn up late beforehand. The ones who went ahead first are so going to kill me once they read this, lol...

Met Rashid & Li Ting at Tampines station at around 2pm anyway, after which we went to the food court upon Li Ting's request to have her lunch. Because I took my lunch before I left home, I spent the time there fooling around with the Instagram app on my iPod touch, which later became brutally abused (will be made apparent by the upcoming picspams). While I was busy snapping away, Rashid & Li Ting had their lunch — two kaya toast & egg breakfast sets. If their appetites aren't weird, then I don't know what is.

After lunch, we went down to Bras Basah station in search of The Mind Cafe along Prinsep Street, where the rest were. Was a little bewildered initially, but with a little dose of common sense, we managed to get to the place pretty quickly in the end.

The Mind Cafe wasn't exactly what I envisioned it to be; the place was noisy and cramped, but of course, there was a generous selection of games. But shortly after we met the rest at the cafe, Rashid, Li Ting & I decided to leave the place, as since we reached so late, it'd be unprofitable if we were to stay and be charged the same rates as everyone else. And so we headed to the public area in LaSalle College of the Arts to... well, lepak.

We then caught up with the rest shortly after they left the cafe to walk to Liang Seah Street together.

Once we got there, we scouted around for a suitable steamboat restaurant, and quickly landed on our final decision. While waiting for more friends to arrive, we went to prepare the food and got the soup bases ready.

After I had my fill, I rushed off to Marine Parade for the E391 thanksgiving party at Faith's place, but by the time I got there, most of the activities were already over; but well, at least I didn't give it a complete miss, hahaha.

The journey home today was a rather different, or should I say special, one. For one, it made me realise my stupidity in all its glory, lol. Hui Yen & I hopped on a bus from the Mandarin Gardens stop which took us to Little India station via the city, i.e. Bugis. So that means I could've just boarded the same bus to Faith's place when I was leaving Liang Seah Street earlier, instead of hopping on a packed, half-hour train ride to Bedok... LE SIGH.

It was also special in the sense that today, Hui Yen made her maiden trip to Little India station. It's hard to believe, and especially so because she's Singaporean! But that's not really the point — when we were at the platform waiting for the train, she completely lost it, and it was hilarious. Made a fool of ourselves by taking some retarded photos, and we even documented it on Twitter, hahaha.

Also realised that nowadays, whenever it comes to going home with her, we'll stop at Punggol station. And I don't mind it at all actually; I really enjoy bus rides along expressways at night. And I'm guessing it's also a form of payback for all the times she was the last one to leave the bus when the few of us went home together after school. :P

Well, to sum it all up, I had a surprisingly blissful & enjoyable day. And it's definitely a good way to end the year. :)

An idle festive season

Lately my life's been a mess, but it's a good season for my life to be in the state it is now, thankfully. Sleeping at 4am every single night and waking up dizzy and lightheaded the next day definitely isn't something that should happen during the middle of a school semester.

Other than being like a person with no direction in life whatsoever (still contemplating if I should remove the 'like'), Christmas week was spent on brief meetings with different groups of friends, and well, rotting away at home.

On Boxing Day, I headed to Orchard Road with Rashid, Jasper & Jun Jie to accompany Rashid to get a gift for his parents' anniversary. He got his gift faster than we thought he would, and so for the next 3 hours or so we walked around the area leisurely and at our own pace. It was a good day to spend in town, because the weather was clear and the Christmas crowds have more or less cleared. Got the book that I've always wanted to get at the huge Kinokuniya there (favourite haunt forever), as well as accompanied Jasper to Fourum at Ngee Ann City and waited for him to get his art supplies, and he took a really long time deciding on the colours for his origami papers. Though it's not like we didn't have time to waste.

For the last leg of the roam around Orchard Road, we went to TANGS, where I bought my maiden cup of Chatime milk tea. Tried 日出紅豆奶茶, and I thought it was really good! But well, bubble tea in Singapore'll continue to be awesome (at the expense of thick wallets) so long as the Taiwanese chains continue to run. Went upstairs to the department store as well to check out the daypacks they had on the shelves, and man, were they expensive or what? I just can't fathom how daypacks with plain designs can cost up to S$150 these days. Things just keep getting more expensive. :/ I'll still have to get one with a plain design in neutral/monochrome colours though, I just find daypacks with fancy/elaborate/colourful designs or graphic prints... excessively ugly. Haha, the pains of a thrifty person with an expensive taste.

Before we left the place, we dropped by the Toys "R" Us at Paragon to find Atika. She's currently there on a holiday job as a gift wrapper, and I have to say, that job's anything but relaxing. Personally I wouldn't work as one, especially during the Christmas season... the pressure's just way too huge for me to handle, hahaha.

The next 2 days or so (including today) were, well, spent at home, and whenever I spent the day at home this week, I would be staring squarely into the laptop screen... coding. I sound like such a geek here, but I can't deny that I enjoy coding, especially when it's from scratch. Gives me a sense of control, and it kinda enables me to express my inner... sophistication. Not kidding, hahaha. So far I've cleaned up my Tumblr blog as well as submitted a couple of designs to the BlogSkins portal; there's most probably more works to come.

If I'm not outside, coding, reading, stalking people on Facebook, listening to music on YouTube or spamming Tumblr with pictures & text, then I'm either doing my homework (WHOA) or, more probably, watching a drama series on the computer. Just last night, I downloaded an episode of 'Heartstrings', a Korean drama featuring Park Shin Hye & Jung Yong Hwa (from CNBlue):

And so far, it's good! I really, really like the setting of the series, it makes me feel as if I jumped right into a school life manga. Let's hope it won't disappoint; will be starting on Episode 2 later.

Yesterday was also spent outside, but this time, at my usual haunt during the exam period — the National Library at Bugis. :/ Because school's gonna reopen real soon and I have a whole shitload to do, I figured it'd only be right to hit the books now, lol. But definitely, I will not get everything done by the 9th of Jan.

Left the library a little earlier than usual for Braddell. After Michelle got off work at SPH, her, Sheryl & I went down to Toa Payoh to catch up over dinner. Had roast duck noodle at the Food Alley there, and I have to say, Toa Payoh's preserved its charm so well! Haven't been there in ages yet the homely atmosphere's still as strong as ever. :) It's hard to believe 12 years just flew by like that, that place gave my childhood so much to remember.

Decided to go to Junction 8 at Bishan afterwards because there wasn't really anything there anyway, besides food and KOI, lol. Walked around aimlessly for a bit, and I also spent the time checking out daypacks. Still haven't decided on which brand to get though.

Headed home early because Sheryl had to meet her curfew (as usual). Got home via the bus from Hougang Interchange; a routine whenever I go home from a night out with my JC friends, I realised. And then I didn't sleep until the it's-4am-and-it's-not-natural-for-me-to-not-already-be-in-bed feeling struck, like all the other days this week.

On another note, LE SIGH. Tomorrow, I'll be busy, busy, busy all over again. It's like some sort of cycle; with every day of rest comes a day of jam-packed madness. But you know, I'd really rather my life be like this. Compared to the daily madness school brings, my life now's a bed of roses.

A week worthy of remembrance

你说我傻　傻在爱上没有感情的分身
我说你傻　傻在爱他就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻　傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现

So... what have I been up to lately, you may ask. Well, recently I've been watching this Taiwanese drama series titled '醉后决定爱上你'. It's an enjoyable catch, but not the best I'd say. It's really humourous though (one of the selling points of the drama). Also, the leads act really well. Rainie Yang 杨丞琳 and Joseph Chang 张孝全 (seen in the MV above) already make an amazing pair to begin with. :) The cheesiness of the show is also at a threshold that is tolerable, and I assume it's because of its Mandarin nature. For some reason, love expressed in Chinese comes off as more of appropriately romantic — artistic, even — rather than mushy and goosebump-inducing. That's fortunate I guess, because I only watch Asian dramas. :P

Besides catching up on TV, for the past few days I've also been meeting up with people who matter. :) And that definitely gave me a pleasant sense of fulfillment!

On Friday, I went out with Rashid, Janet & Sylvia to visit BookFest 2011 at Suntec City (the book fair I worked for last December). Didn't get anything, or rather, didn't dare to get anything, because the BookFest's forever packed like a can of sardines, and this makes the queues at the cashier counters snake on and on and on. Would've stayed there till maybe 9pm if we decided to get something, haha.

Walked to Marina Square after we've browsed the place enough, where I headed to the MUJI store to get a 2012 schedule. I didn't in the end, because no matter how much I was tempted to, I still convinced myself in the end that buying a schedule from the store simply equals daylight robbery, heh. I'm just terribly thrifty like that.

Left the store shortly after we entered to browse even more within the vicinity. While browsing, we stumbled upon a number of interesting gift stores. Even chanced upon a store selling African- & Indian American-themed stuff, and personally I was fascinated by them, especially the dreamcatchers. They bore an exquisite charm, far beyond that in the photos with random models I usually see reblogged all over Tumblr, haha.

But despite all the heavy window-shopping we did, I fulfilled my mission in the end, which was to get a new pair of jeans. Guess you can say I'm a happy child now. :D

Had dinner at the food court with the breathtaking view of the Singapore skyline after all the walking around. The fact that it was during the evening made everything a whole lot better. :)

Saturday night was spent with my church mates. Was initially running late for church, but thankfully my dad offered to drive me to Bartley station to make my journey a little quicker. :) Got to Jurong West a little late in the end still, but not late enough to miss anything major.

Hate how recently services have always been like that lor... I even realised that I was dragging myself to church and cell group meetings at times, probably because of my own entanglements with some people there. But not to worry, if one of you readers is currently a cell group mate of mine, I don't plan on leaving church or anything of that sort. It's just... I probably need to get over certain problems on my part, and fortunately I'm currently doing a good job. :) God's really been answering my prayers faithfully. SO... not to worry.

The process of finding a place for dinner that night was spontaneous in a good way. :) And I really liked it. Initially we had planned to go all the way to Clementi, but we chose to drop off halfway at some random place within a HDB jungle in the end. Apparently the place is Gek Poh Shopping Centre, just another one of those neighbourhood centres.

Went home with Hui Yen after dinner, and it's becoming more and more of a routine. I'd prefer it that way, though. It's never awkward when I'm with her, and that applies with the friends whom I find very dear to me. :)

Sunday night was spent catching up with Hui Jie & Yu Yun at Tampines. Had dinner at Manpuku, where we talked about people, events, our schools, aspirations, plans, ideas... everything under the sun for that matter. Really enjoy how they're always able to enrich my way of thinking from every angle. And how our conversations can just go on and on and on. I still remember the brief period before the O-Levels — we were always studying together at White Sands, and always ending up chatting away non-stop, hahaha.

Went back to school yesterday, and I have to say, it's really pointless now. Headed home after lunch with the second row to catch some zzz's before training at ITE Simei, after which I met up with Yi Ren, Jia Yu, Cliff & Terence at Bedok to prepare for Hing Cheung's birthday surprise outside his Kembangan terrace, heh. It was pretty successful!

Took the train home after everything with Jocelyn. And she told me about how she knows that I keep a blog, lol. Now that really freaked me out... in a good way, I guess? :) It's always nice to know that I have readers, after all, I dedicate a lot of time to blogging whenever I decide to do it. So if you're a reader, please drop a message or even leave a comment... I really won't mind. With your name of course. I really don't bite. :)

Anyway, I just returned home from dinner with Michelle & Sheryl at Old Airport Road. Initially planned to go down to Parkway after for some book sale Sheryl was interested in going... but didn't in the end, due to their curfews (tsk). Chatted with Michelle on the way home about the usual (hahaha), as well as about some struggles on my part. But I believe at the end of the day all of us'll be just fine. :)

Well, guess I've blogged enough... time to sleep. School tomorrow and swim camp the day after, and no, I'm not looking forward to it.